since this topic is EXTREMELY prevalent in our class (and probably other classes as well), i just felt i had to write something about it. so, here it is.

"The Art of Suanning and how to Deal with it"

ok. i'm not going to pretend to be some expert on it, so here's my few cents worth. i take no responsibility for injury or death caused by use of this advice.

1. Suanning

Q:What is suanning?

Suanning is the action of either using (1)verbal language or (2)physical actions to cause the intended receipient or any one who sees or hears it to feel inferior or unpleasant.

Examples of : (1) Can you be more EARNEST??!? (directed at me)
Wah, first time i couldn't see Java. (directed at Java)

(2) Someone outperforms you during PE lesson (eg. plays a particular sport better)/NAPFA test/during Track and Field meet/whatever and after seeing you lose out, comes and rubs it in your face.

of course, being the smart people that we are, we have learnt to combine both for greater effect. this list is by no means exhaustive.

Q: I just got suaned and i'm not happy. What shall i do about it?

well, in my opinion, there are two things to do. 1. dao the person. 2. suan back. 3. take some physical action.

1. Daoing is put simply, IGNORING completely the particular person who has suaned you. this is not as easy as it looks, as some people just love to bear grudges (cannot dao). and if you say something to them, they keep it in them until they find the perfect chance to exact revenge. so, if you are naturally quiet, daoing is the way to go for you. however, this does not mean you can't do the next thing, which is...

2. Suaning back. this is a large topic, so forgive me if i become too verbose on it.

Q:How to suan back?

A: well, depends what kind of suan hit you in the first place, if it's type 1, you can easily counter it with a quip of your own (and from experience, a good comeback can leave your opponent speechless). i shall tell you how to later. if it's type 2, however, i must say it is VERY hard to suan back a type 2. reason: actions speak 100 times louder than words. it is not possible to erase what just happened to you with a mere sentence . simple as that. the best advice i can give you is to outperform him on another battlefield: the classroom. scoring higher than a person in a test is a simple yet effective way to suan him.

Anyway, i shall move on. effective countersuaning needs you to know a few things:

1. what are the persons' weak points? is there anything he ashamed of? afraid of? know that person well.
2. sarcasm, irony, quick-wittedness, quips, hidden meanings... all these are weapons to add to your arsenal when suaning.
3. know the context of the suan. is it right to apply this suan here?

Warning: An uneffective suan can make you look stupid. such is the double-edgedness of suaning. also, do not suan a person in front of his "friends" as they will all attack you as well. more than one person at once is too much to handle in my opinion, unless you are extremely confident of yourself.

suaning takes practise, or it can come to you naturally. some side effects will include making you look really thick skinned or just plain insensitive.

Q: i just suaned that person back and he used some four letter words on me. what should i do?

well, use of vulgarities is good news for you. it shows you have reduced your opponents choices of comebacks until he is forced to use that word. you can now comment on his childishness of using those words. or you could keep quiet. depends on your mood.

finally. a suan fight can escalate into a real fight. if you are caught in one of those, immediately report it to a teacher.

on a final note, this was written as a JOKE. please do not take me seriously, although if you want to, i can't help it. we shouldn't be suaning each other at all actually. hope this brought some smiles to everyone's face.

oh dear. now i'm going to get suaned in school for writing this. nooo....

Till next post...